A brand new heart after one month - what it is like!

Exactly a month ago I underwent some bypass surgery here in beautiful Moscow - home of Stalin, Lenin, Putin and some very lovely woman everywhere in the city.

Most of them for that matter.

It is also the home of long winters, Vodka and Kartoshka's; some good ballet and caviar, Russian Mafia dudes and the Kremlin. None whom are friends or want to be with a guy called Obama anyway.

I simply love this place. One of my favorite places in this world.

So, almost a month ago after all the Congo experience and South Africa, I got the long awaited operation that was desperately needed. Most people I spoke to do not understand the conditions that goes with this at all in your body, but what the heck?

From almost passing out and feeling crap many times to really refreshed or relieved in many ways. This with a lot of stabbing from syringes and drips, heaven knows what medicines and then some brutal scars.

Yes, my head still spin now and then and my darn ribs hurts like crap more than I would like too; I have two lovely cuts down my legs where they took arteries from, enough to do a double times triple bypass (think I have now what I call a V6 bypass), but my good looks and sense of optimism for life just keeps me going strong.

In comparison I could have gotten this operation in India for all that I care, but then I was not too sure I will have many other organs left at all once they fixed the heart issues!

The question may come up "was it all worth it?" and I will without hesitation reply YES!! 

South Africa was way too expensive, very close to the costs in America almost, and although South Africa is renowned for great names in the heart surgery world like Dr. Chris Barnard, Russia also boosts some very famous surgeons at this very hospital I am at and that was one of the main reasons for coming here.

That and of course the fact they take extremely good care of their patients here in Russia, unlike some other places I have been admitted to before. The nursing staff looks better here also.

I do have my punts going on with some of the staff here. You get the "Ass Assaulter Nurses" - a group funded by the Red Cross to stab innocent patients at 10pm at night in the ass before retiring to bed.

Then you have the "Vampire Green Nurse Merchants" - their function is to stab you as many times possible with syringes that you look like a drug addict by the time she is done. I also have to mention that I suspect this class of medical personnel to be in the selling blood trade for some mysterious reasons I am trying to get to myself.

Then you get the "Nurse Ninjas". This bunch wonder in small groups like Special Forces (real Special Forces like Navy Seals, Recon Commando's and the SAS, not all these American SF dudes).

Anyway, they move around in small tactical groups and then basically "hit" a room and then torture the patients with equipment, seismographs and then some jelly stuff to scan the effects of their operation.

As I said, they are highly effective, and you never hear the "Ninja Nurses" coming your way.

As for the building on the outside one might give it a dash of little old but the inside is actually magnificently maintained. A real pleasure to be inside the building. Like many others there are some stuff that you can point out but in reality very acceptable standards.

Over all I had quite a time. Imagine, South African national, almost never in South Africa, get malaria in Congo that screw up a screwed up heart even more, evacuated to South Africa against my will, and then operated in Moscow.

I do not think there are too many people around that live this kind of life, but I am grateful for being around little longer, making few people more nervous and looking forward to exciting challenges.

That and of course the hell of a diet and 'do and do not' list I have to follow. Quite the life changer! 

A letter to my mates: 14 Sept. 2014

Hallo there, from a beautiful Moscow!

My humble apologies for being a little quite the past week. Had some tests, then more tests and on top of that as if they had something else to do, they did some more.

I had to swallow a radiator pipe from some space ship, to see what going on in the stomach! 
Not sure if it was the Colombia or Sputnik but bloody hell!! That sucked. 

First time for me. Last time for me.

That same night I made offerings of chock chip cookies and coffee powder inside my little room around a bed on fire to the gods to turn them two nurses that did this radiator pipe thing to me into something strange – lemur monkeys maybe with oranges as ears – something really weird!

The fire department stopped the proceedings so still awaiting the outcome.

The Ass Assaulter (nurse that want to inject you in the ass all day and night) wanted to strike again. I told her I in languages unknown to this planet I will release the power of some demonized underage  witch onto her and her ancestors should she mention that to me again.

I really HATE getting stabbed and especially in the ass! After the Congo, really. One need little compassion.

It must have worked because she retreated from the ass and then stabbed me in the upper leg LIKE THAT!!!

This woman draw my blood basically every freaking day. I refer to all the nurses wearing absolute green uniforms as "vampires". 
I have asked around if she maybe sell the blood also or, there is something special in my blood that they are accessing the DNA and then implanting it into some Super Russians to become like me.

No answer yet on that question as well.

Talking of some negative things; No aliens came to visit this week!

This was maybe due to the amount of tests being done they felt little ‘slapped in the face’ with their testing on the subjects. Kind of miss their funny conversations. Little more technical and in line with similar interests. 
We usually discuss their harvesting of farts from Americans (who believe their shit does not stink and that they "invaded Iraq to free an Islamic population from Islam way of rule that was going on for centuries before America was even discovered") and then their recent brush with Mexicans (it was a huge accident when they accidentally abducted 10 of them). 
It ended up that the test equipment almost took fire because of the Tequila content, and the not so recent bathing. “No more Mexicans” they said, but apparently they do enjoy the publicity in America still when abducting dogs and cats and then reciting the “Martian book of gastronomy” to middle aged men and woman in the middle of the night.

Talking of communities. Here in ward 7 where I am now, you find the isolated here and there occupied lot that range from your pensioner class to the late forties. It is a quite neighborhood. The food is quite good actually here. Same as floors 4,5 and 6 and considered quite the menu, that is if you were released from prison maybe after serving a 15 to life sentence. Otherwise it is quite crap.

Now and then the neighborhood get some wanted wanderer, dressed in a nurse uniform and looks like she escape from modelling class, otherwise there are these Nurse Ninjas. They usually gather together in open meetings at the reception desk and monitor the residents.

Most of their functions are limited to give you pills, tell you when to do what and then study the art of writing testimonials for the other floors.

Floor 6 for instance is where all the guys with screwed up hearts ends up and then they fix them. Three very well-known specialists in Russia operate that floor. Their staff are little more …. “edgy”. Almost like life and death can meet each other in the hallway at any moment.

Floor 7 would be the ideal environment if you wanted to raise a family and have a steady job, life and everything else. That is now if you wanted to live in a hospital.

Inside the walls recently some testing have been setup to develop the long sought after Electricity from the air Project. Now I am still trying to explain my Mayya what a “tester” is but I think like most of that specie if you can get past the different types of home tests available and draw pictures it would help. One day a roll of liver spread will arrive and the next a bag of oranges.

Anyway, the brains are really starting to spark again (like usual, then on for 15 seconds then off for 4 hours).

Recently they had my legs in some magnetic chamber for about 20 minutes every day. When I asked if I can rather stick my head in and see if I can reverse these bugs singing in my ears I was stared at in a very profound way, almost as if I wanted to attempt something brave.

Talking of bugs: blood pressure and bugs in the ears – they are not related!!

I have sent earlier an email to my Martian friend and asked if I could introduce a Nurse Ninja to him so still awaiting that offering. In my opinion they will accept such good trade and then the lemurs with the orange ears will come out sooner I think.

So, all my friends and not friends and have to be friendly with people, let us see where this all goes to this week. I am still celebrating spring day or Betsie day as our African bastards will call it although 14 days later but then remember, I am on retarded drugs so I am empowered to do anything I wish in the wonderful world of Henry. Well, almost.

Sunday so I am going to plug in the external drive and then watch few movies, have a snooze and that is about the future of my next 4 hours for today.

Have a lovely week, be good, or be good at it, and remember, some lovely people I know are celebrating birthdays the next 2 weeks so be happy for them, and honk when you drive past a cemetery. (there might be Americans in there and next month we play “wake the dead”)

Take care, best of luck to all of you and have a very good week ahead.